What to Say at a Networking Event: Openers, Questions and Graceful Exits

Most advice about what to say at a networking event stops at "be yourself" and "ask questions". Fair enough, but it doesn't help much when you're standing by the coffee urn with a lanyard on and no idea how to start. This guide gives you the actual words. Openers for walking up to a stranger, lines for joining a group, questions that get people talking about something real, what to do when it dries up, and how to leave a conversation without hovering or vanishing. Steal any of them.

How to start a conversation at a networking event

Everyone in the room is in the same position as you. They came to meet people, and most of them are quietly relieved when someone else makes the first move. That's worth holding on to, because it means an approach is a favour rather than an intrusion.

Start with people on their own. Someone standing by themselves, checking their phone or studying the programme, is usually waiting for exactly this. Walk up, catch their eye, and say something about the shared situation. You don't need to be clever. The best openers are easy to answer, because a question that makes someone think hard at 6pm with a glass of wine in their hand is a question that kills the chat.

Your name comes after the opener, once they've answered. "I'm Sam, by the way" slots in naturally after the first exchange and feels far less like a formal introduction.

Networking conversation starters that work in any room

Keep three or four of these in your head. They work because they're about the event, which is the one thing you know you have in common.

The fourth one sounds risky, but honesty disarms people. Admitting you know nobody gives the other person permission to admit the same, and plenty of good conversations start from that shared relief.

If the event has a theme, use it. At a local business breakfast, "What kind of business are you in?" is normal and welcome. At a tech meetup, "Are you building something, or here to learn?" sorts people quickly and kindly.

Joining a group that's already talking

This feels harder than approaching one person, but there's a simple method. Look at how people are standing. A tight closed circle is mid-conversation and probably wants to stay that way. A group in an open horseshoe, with a gap facing the room, is inviting people in. Step into the gap, smile, and listen for a minute before you speak. When there's a natural pause, add something to the topic they're on, or say "Mind if I join? I'm Priya." Most groups will turn and include you straight away.

Pairs are trickier, because two people talking might be in the middle of something private. If you're unsure, catch one person's eye and wait for them to wave you in.

How to introduce yourself without giving a pitch

At some point someone will ask "So what do you do?" The temptation is to give your full elevator pitch. Resist it. Two short sentences are enough. One on what you do, in words your nan would understand, and one on why you're here.

The second sentence matters more than the first. It tells the other person how they might help, or who they might know, without you asking for anything. Then hand the conversation straight back: "What about you?"

Questions to ask at a networking event once you're talking

The opener gets you into the conversation. The questions after it decide whether anyone remembers it. Aim for questions that let people talk about what they care about, rather than ones that sound like a job interview.

The real skill is the follow-up question. When someone mentions something with a bit of energy behind it ("we've just lost our biggest client", "I'm moving to Leeds in March"), go after that. "Oh, what happened?" or "What's taking you to Leeds?" shows you were listening, and it's the point where small talk turns into a proper conversation.

The last question on that list is a quiet favourite. If you can help someone find the person they came for, you've done them a real favour, and people repay that kind of thing for years.

What to say when the conversation stalls

Every conversation hits a lull. Silence for a second or two is fine and you don't need to fill it in a panic. If it stretches, you have three easy moves.

Go back to something they said earlier: "You mentioned you'd just started at the new place. How's it compared to the last one?" This works best, because it proves you were paying attention.

Bring in the room: "Do you know many people here? I'm trying to work out who the organisers are." Talking about the event takes the pressure off both of you.

Or introduce someone. If a person you've already met walks past, call them over. "Jo, have you met Tom? He's the one I was telling you about who's hiring designers." You become the connector, and that's one of the best ways to be remembered.

How to leave a conversation at a networking event

Plenty of people stay in conversations far too long because they don't know how to get out. Both of you came to meet more than one person, so leaving is expected. The trick is to signal it, say something warm, and then go. Don't apologise and don't make up an elaborate excuse.

The last one is the most graceful exit there is. You hand them to someone useful, and then you're free to move on without anyone feeling dropped.

If the chat was a good one, end with a specific next step rather than a vague "let's stay in touch". "I'll send you that article about wholesale pricing tomorrow" gives you a reason to follow up and gives them a reason to reply. Our guide on how to follow up after a networking event has message templates for exactly that moment.

What not to say at a networking event

A few things reliably sour a conversation. Opening with your pitch is the big one. So is asking for a job, an investment or an introduction within the first few minutes, before the other person has any reason to want to help you.

Be careful with complaints about the event. The person you're moaning to about the catering might have booked it. Keep your eye on the conversation in front of you too. Scanning the room over someone's shoulder for a better option is something people notice, and they don't forget it.

One more. "So what do you do?" as your very first line is fine, but it's a bit flat, and it pushes the conversation straight onto job titles. Start with the event, and the job will come up on its own.

If you hate small talk, make the room smaller

Everything above gets easier when you walk in knowing who you want to speak to. Instead of opening a dozen conversations and hoping one is useful, you can head for two or three people and start with a real reason. Our playbook for networking at a conference covers how to do that homework before a bigger event.

It's also why we built Linktwos. You text it who would help you, a bookkeeper for your bakery or a mentor who has raised a seed round, and it introduces you to one well-matched person at a time with a reason to meet. At events, attendees check in and get matched with the right people in the room, so your opener can be "Linktwos said we should talk about wholesale" instead of a comment about the coffee. If you're earlier on and starting with nobody, our guide to building a professional network from scratch is a better place to begin.

Common questions about what to say at networking events

What is a good opening line at a networking event?

Something about the place you are both standing in. "What brought you to this one?" or "Have you been to one of these before?" both work on anyone, because the other person can answer them without thinking.

How do I join a group that is already talking?

Pick a group of three or more standing in an open horseshoe, stand at the edge, listen for a minute, and come in on the topic they are already discussing. Introduce yourself at the first natural pause.

How do I introduce myself at a networking event?

Your name, what you do in plain words, and one line on why you came. Then hand the conversation back with a question. Two sentences is plenty.

How do I politely leave a conversation at a networking event?

Signal it, thank them and go. "I'm going to grab another drink and say hello to a few more people, but it's been good to meet you" is honest and nobody minds it.

What should I avoid saying at a networking event?

Avoid opening with a pitch, asking for a job or favour in the first few minutes, and complaining about the event to someone who might have organised it.